Day 14: Is Your Why BIg Enough?

IS IT BIG ENOUGH?

In goal setting it is the "WHY" that makes all the difference in whether you achieve that goal or not. If you have a big enough why, you can do ANYTHING you set  your mind to. 

Every decision we make in our lives is based on whether that decision will bring us pleasure of pain.  In the past when I fell off the wagon it was because the  pleasure of tasting that cookie, or  ice cream cone, or the uncomfortable feeling I would get when I was at a party and everybody else was eating sweets and what would they think of me if I didn't, or how would I make them feel if I didn't, was stronger for me than the pain of the grumpy ornery, depressed place that sugar took me to.  I would do good during the week, but then Sunday would roll around and Russ would make chocolate chip cookies, or his caramel, pecan cinnamon rolls, and I was toast.  I would rationalize, I have been good all week, I deserve it.   Or, he made it, I at least have to try it and make him feel good.  Another thing that would get to me is the fear that people would feel that I wasn't any fun to be around, because they would feel guilty if they were eating sweets and I wasn't. You are probably chuckling at my silly worries, but the negative chatter that goes through our head at  times really could be a comedy show. So what has changed?  I have a big enough "WHY".  In fact for me several big why's.

WHY #1: How can I get down on my kids for their addictions if I can't quit mine. 
Sugar is poison to my mind, body, and spirit. It doesn't serve me in any shape or form except maybe the few minutes of pleasure I get while I am eating it.  Not being able to leave it alone, is no different than someone not being able to quit smoking.  This is one I  have only told a few people about, but I realized as I was talking to my son about quitting smoking one day that I was being a hypocrite.

WHY #2: I do not want my kids to remember me as a grumpy, ornery, depressed person.
I want to be remembered as someone who is fun to be around.  I don't EVER want to be a should in my kids life.  My dad as he got older was not fun to be around, and when I would visit him, it was because I should, and that's what good daughters do. I want people to come see me because they want to, because they enjoy it. I don't ever want to be a project!

WHY #3: I do not want to ever have to go to an assisted living center.
I spend a lot of time there, and everyone I see there is merely surviving, existing, no one looks happy, and excited about life.  My hope is that if I pay the price and take care of my health now, it will take care of me as I age.

WHY #4: I have told the whole world I am doing this and I don't want to let anyone down.
This is really how it all started, and what I "thought" would keep me committed. It is pretty important to me to be my word. Now I think it is the least powerful of my why's because I get to do this for me. Not because people are watching me.

Why #5:  I don't ever want to go back to the place of not enoughness.  
I feel balanced and whole for the first time in my life.  I have spent my whole life with a hole inside me.  For two weeks I have felt what it feels like to have the chemicals in my body balanced to the point that I am enough, I have value,  I love life, I know who I am, what I stand for, and what I am passionate about.  I am passionate about assisting others to figure out and overcome their addictions, why they have low self worth, false beliefs, and triggers, so they can feel whole and live their lives with purpose and passion.  This will create peace, love, and joy within themselves, within their homes, and rippling out into the community, and into the world.  That is why I went to massage school, and have spent lots of money to become an energy practitioner.  Clearing the negative thoughts out of the mind, and toxins out of the body, awakens the spirit and then you are free too live your truth, your mission, your purpose.

Thai Peanut Wraps

What did I eat today?
Breakfast: I started off with two cucumbers while I studied and then about 9:30 had some 5 grain hot cereal.
Lunch: Thai Wraps (Recipe is in the recipe section above.)  It was really yummy! Didn't taste like "health food" at all.
Snacks: Tortilla chips, yellow zucchini, pumpkin seeds
Dinner: Buckwheat Belgian Waffles. This was a little hard not to put anything sweet on it. I sufficed with some peanut butter.  I thought they were o.k. and VERY filling. My family said, YUCK, because they were  kinda heavy instead of light like they are used to. I will get to tweak that recipe some if I make it for them again.