Energetic Harmony

Is there a such a thing as the perfect parent?
It would be nice if family life looked like the picture on the right all the time. However, more than likely you will have one child who is excited and on board with the activity you want them to do and other children who are resistant it. It's the resistance that creates the perfect opportunity for learning and growth on part of the parent as well as the child.

I don't know about you but I didn't look down at my newborn and say, "Boy! I am so excited to be your parent so I can screw you up!" But, as I am moving into a new season of life and the youngest of my four children is 18 I am seeing many results of my parenting that have created positive things as well as what many would feel were negative in my children's lives. 

I just got off the phone with one of my coaching clients,  who was feeling bad about a parenting decision she made when her daughter was little. I am also coaching her adult daughter. In her daughters session last week her intention was that she wanted to be more confident and assertive. As we energetically (because her energy has all her answers) dug into what experiences created the result of her not feeling confident or assertive it went back to when she was little and she wanted to look cute and wear dresses to school.  Her mom, worrying that her legs would be cold in the snowy, winter weather made her wear pants. The mom obviously had her daughter best interests at heart. She was not trying to create low self worth. in her daughter, but because her daughter couldn't dress the way that she wanted she didn't feel heard, valued, and more specifically understood. When I talked to the mother, she felt terrible to learn that decisions she had made in an effort to protect and care for her daughter could have had such a negative impact. She wondered how many other parenting decisions, seemingly made in good faith, had hurt her children's lives.


The reality of this situation is that everything is IN PERFECT ORDER! Because of the mom's actions the daughter is having the perfect  opportunity to learn how to live her truth and discover her value. This is something we all have to learn, and usually doesn't happen until we are adults. Even though as a six year old the daughter, to be obedient, she had to wear pants; this experience and others that followed have provided her with the learning opportunity necessary empower her as an adult to quit giving her power away to others.  She now knows that she does not like the results that she has been getting her whole life by giving her power away and worrying what others think and is asking the questions necessary to learn how to create something different. PERFECT!

Her mom was the PERFECT MOM for her to learn what she came here to learn! Just because we have a child that is experiencing some bumps and bruises in life that we can see how we may have naively contributed too doesn't mean we failed as a parent! It's part of the cycle of growth and learning and gaining the experience that we all agreed to when we chose into Heavenly Fathers plan.

Now that I am at the stage in the parenting game that my children are adults, I have come to realize that my children have been as big of a teacher to me as I have been to them.  Now we both have the choice and opportunity to look at the lessons that we have taught each other and learn from them or to sit and beat each other up for them. 

The truth is EVERYONE in our life is a teacher in some way or another. The key is to be teachable!  When we are teachable and ask, "What can I learn from this experience?" the lessons that different people and experiences teach us will be a lot shorter and we will grow a lot faster. But the most rewarding part is that if we can trust that it's all in divine order instead of getting down on ourselves for our mistakes we will be much happier, our burdens will be much lighter, and life will actually be more fulfilling. And lets not forget that the biggest lesson that we are all here to learn is that we all have worth and value even though we are not perfect.

So parents put away the beat up stick for what you may consider to be mistakes. Mistakes are merely learning opportunities and its part of Gods plan that we all have plenty of them.